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Friday, July 30, 2010
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Serving Maine and Lincoln County for over a century. |
Volume 135 Issue 30 |
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| 3/25/2009 2:49:00 PM | Email this article • Print this article |
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| Illustration by Glenn Chadbourne. |
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Hagar-Hagar's Book 'The Man Overboard' Aims To Help Others With Substance Abuse
By Paula Roberts
Darryl Hagar released his first book this month, "The Man Overboard - How a Merchant Marine Officer Survived the Raging Storm of Alcoholism and Drug Addiction," illustrated by local artist Glenn Chadbourne. He held a book signing on March 21 at the Skidompha Library.
Hagar grew up in Nobleboro and graduated from Lincoln Academy in 1981. He graduated from Maine Maritime Academy and started a 20-year career in the Merchant Marines (1985-2005).
Hagar was 15 years old the first time he took a drink in 1977, and drank to excess, blacking out and waking up on the floor of a dark room covered in his own vomit.
"The Man Overboard" is a memoir of a Merchant Marine officer who struggled with the chaos of alcoholism and drug abuse, first while attending the Maine Maritime Academy and later while navigating dozens of oil supertankers around the world.
Hagar served as ship's officer/ship navigator from 1985-2005 on oil tankers between 500 and 900-feet long. He refueled the U.S. Navy in the Persian Golf during the Iran/ Iraq tanker war in 1987-88, and in Desert Storm in 1990-91.
While a junior midshipman at Maine Maritime, Hagar was well on his way to becoming an alcoholic when his father committed suicide in 1983. He never properly grieved the death of his dad, but hid his sorrows with alcohol and drugs.
His last two years at Maine Maritime were a haze of alcohol, marijuana and cocaine abuse, including being under the influence during Coast Guard testing.
Today, 26 years later, Hagar urges anyone who has gone through a traumatic event, "to talk to someone, don't hold it in."
Hagar's memoir tells of life the way it was aboard ship while a Merchant Marine, graphic and raw, of how his life spiraled out of control, and how he barely stayed afloat because of his addictions. Even though he was sober most of the time he was on duty, his out of control behavior on shore leave and while off duty got him into many scrapes and near firings.
In the first chapter of "The Man Overboard," Hagar writes, "I was overboard in every sense of the meaning of that word. I lived an overboard life of extremes: Overboard partying, overboard womanizing, overboard irresponsibility in my personal life.
My work life was just as extreme: Extreme honesty, extreme dedication, and extreme perseverance and hard work. There was no in-between place in the world I had built for myself. Like many alcoholics, I'm an all-or-nothing kind of guy."
Later on in the book he wrote, "I was on my way to becoming captain. Yet I would never make it to the top. My drinking was like a ship dragging anchor; it slowed me down and often prevented me from moving forward. During that first voyage, the Man Overboard had been awakened."
"The only way I knew how to deal with my inner demons and mental instability was to work, work, work. I worked harder and longer than anyone on board. I knew I had to make up for my shortcomings, and I did that through performing at a high level for months at a time. I didn't realize I was building up tremendous pressure that boiled over when we hit shore, making me unpredictable and even dangerous."
Hagar advanced to Second Mate, despite himself. He received a grade of 100 on his navigational chart retake test, even though he had stayed up all night doing lines of cocaine.
As a Second Mate, Hagar was the ship's navigational officer and was in charge of charts, radar and laying out the ship's course.
There was no drug testing for Merchant Marines before the Exxon Valdez supertanker accident in 1989. After the accident, strict guidelines were put in place and Hagar found more creative ways to conceal his addictions.
The turning point for Hagar came when he realized he was about to lose his five-year-old son, Darryl II.
"My girl friend told me if I don't straighten up you will lose your son." Having lost his father at a relatively young age, it was more than Hagar could bear.
He asked God to help him, then made a pledge to his son before checking into rehab. "I made a deal with him. I told him if he stopped sucking his thumb, Daddy would stop drinking beer," he said.
Hagar started a 12-step program and has been sober ever since.
He wrote his life story, so others might learn from his mistakes. "This is not easy to do, to put all my dirt out there. If I can help just one person, it is worth it. I think I can help more. I asked God to help me and if he did, I would help other people. The book tells what I've gone through. There is help out there. Don't give up; join a 12 step program," Hagar said.
"Some of the emptiness and void may always be there, but Darryl has found creative methods to cope. His feelings are no longer foreign and frightening. Like a sailor lost at sea, he now sees a beacon of some distant lighthouse, pointing the way home," Hagar's therapist Phil del Vecchio commented in the book's introduction.
Hagar is also writing a series of 11 comic books, each geared to a different age group. He has completed three of them. Chadbourne also illustrated the comic books.
Hagar withdrew $200,000 out of his retirement to write the books and launch his new career to help other people with their addictions.
He travels across the country telling his life story of substance abuse at lecture halls, radio shows and public TV. He regularly speaks at the Cumberland County Jail, and Mercy Hospital's recovery and detox unit.
"The Man Overboard" is available at www.themanoverboard.com; at Border's Books in South Portland, and at Books, Etc. in Portland and Falmouth.
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